Battling the Biter - How to deal with children who bite
Posted: Sunday, July 15, 2007
by Sandra DuPlessis
http://www.moms-home-safety.com
Whilst extremely embarrassing for the parents of a biter, this problem is fairly common, and usually stems from teething and or pure frustration where the toddler is concerned.
It is therefore very important that both parents and caregivers remain calm.
Getting worked up and yelling or smacking the child, or worse still, biting the child, because he bit someone, is counter-productive. In fact such actions re-enforce the negative behavior and also tell the child that he or she will get lots of attention when they bite. This is not what you want.
By the time a toddler reaches one year of age, and taking into account that he or she is still teething, the habit of biting is becoming firmly entrenched, especially if the act of biting a person, e.g. Moms breast, whilst feeding, was not followed with a stern and firm "no biting" and being removed immediately from the breast for a few seconds.
At this stage, is is very important for caregivers, parents, mothers of playgroups to get together to formulate a specific strategy for dealing with a biter. The biter needs to know and experience the fact that he or she is going to get the same consistent reaction to his or her biting no matter where they are, or who they are with.
The first step is to try and ascertain why the child (or children) is/are biting.
Is the child stressed or fearful? Are there problems at home which the toddler is picking up on? Is discipline very authoritarian (this often causes aggressive behavior)? Is the child perhaps over-stimulated or under- stimulated? Could the child be tired or hungry? Is the toddler perhaps unwell, or teething? Has biting been part of a game played by older siblings?
Is biting the only retaliation available against older siblings? Does the child think perhaps that biting is just a game?
It is important to remember that that small children tend to bite because they lack the verbal skills to communicate frustrations and/or needs and/or wants. If they can't get your attention in one way, then they will get it in another.
It is the responsibility of both caregiver and parents to try and find out what the child has been trying to communicate, and to then teach them something more acceptable. An example would be to teach a biter to say "turn"
if his frustration is related to also wanting to have a turn on the rocking horse, or to play with a specific toy.
In fact, the attention a biter gets from practicing a specific word, particularly with his or her parents, will go a long way towards relieving those terrible frustrations.
Are there sufficient high interest (and preferably educational) toys for all the children within each age group? Most kids have a relatively short attention span and having finished with one activity or toy after a few minutes, immediately look for something else. If another child has something that looks more interesting, then that is where they will go.
Is there sufficient space for the children to play, individually if they so wish, without being crowded by others?
Is there an established routine? Children are usually uncomfortable and stressed if they do not know what is going to happen next. They need to know when it is playtime, and when nap-time is going to occur. They want to know when they are going to get food and something to drink. They want to be sure that they are going to get enough of everything, be it sleep, play or food.
All staff and caregivers should be trained on what to do if a biting incident should occur.
There should be an observant caregiver circulating and monitoring each of the various age groups ready to step in within an instant to deal with problems such as biting or even hitting. It is not helpful if the caregiver simply stands to one side, or chats to other adults, forgetting to observe the children.
A caregiver should anticipate negative behavior and step in to prevent an incident before it happens, and to distract the child by offering an alternative of greater interest.
The caregiver should be alert to any disagreements amongst the children and immediately take steps to deal with the situation, particularly if there is a known biter in the group.
The moment a child is seen to be about to bite, step forward and admonish him or her firmly. "No bite!" - long sentences, for a child who cannot yet speak adequately, are useless.
If a toddler has already bitten someone, remove the child immediately from the situation, and at the same time, allow the toddler to see that the injured child receives lots of attention. The biter must be made aware that he or she has caused pain.
In addition, if the biter is old enough, encourage him or her to apologize and to offer help in the form of a band-aid or even a hug. Do ensure that the parents of the children concerned are advised if the biting incident.
Decide on a consequence ahead of time. It must be age related. A toddler of about one year old could be removed and made to sit in a specific "naughty zone" for two minutes. On the other hand, a four year old can be made aware that if he or she bites, in addition to being removed from the playgroup activity, they will be sent home.
If a caregiver is aware that a specific punishment cannot be followed through, then that punishment must not be used. It is essential that the punishment is consistent both at home and at "school".
Do remember that if the toddler is biting because of painful gum's as a result of teething, the caregiver should offer something appropriate to bite on, such as a teething ring, biscuit or frozen fruit juice.
The problem will not go away overnight, it will take time, dedication and practice, but then again, that is what parenting is all about.
Look after yourself and be safe
Sandy www.moms-home-safety.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)i am a registered childminder, who has a daughter of 17 months and very alert, I look after a twenty one month old boy who is constantly biting her, for no reason at all, whether she is in her pram or away from him, he has left numerous impressions on both her hands and i dont know what i should do. I have informed both parents of this and they say the same is at home. help please.Hi Lindsey Over and above watching the little boy like a hawk so that you can stop him from biting your daughter, you are going to need to find out what causes him to bite in the first place. I have suggested a number of possibilities in my article, but since he seems to be biting just her hands and taking his age into account, it may well be that his mouth is troubling him i.e. teething. Plus, he might simply be looking for more attention as well. Is it possible that he sees you as giving more attention to your daughter than to him and at the same time feels he is not getting enough attention at home? Try providing him with something that will relieve the possible irritation of teething and also give him a few more cuddles. His parents will need to do the same thing. However, when he does bite, and you know that his mouth is not causing him problems, then he must be firmly told "no bite!" removed to another spot, well away from your daughter, and be made to stay there for about a minute and a half. At the end of that time he will need a cuddle. He is still a bit young to be told to say "sorry". I do hope the above helps. Sandy
Yes it is very helpful. My little boy just turned two and is already getting transferred to another daycare because of biting. I am so fustrated. I have tried everything. Ice, tylenol, extra attention at home, and volunteering at the child care center. I can only do so much. I need the teacher's help and it seems like they do not know how to react to biting situation. Sometimes, I think they are negatively reinforcing his behavior by giving him much negative attention when he bites. He bit eight times in one day! I have worked in daycare for five years and never heard of that. They couldn't contact me to pick him up so I feel responsible, but eight times! Come on!
help please. i have a daughter who's 2yrs and 7 months she recently started school but from since then i have had biting complains all the time from both older than her to those younger than her. i have tried it all give her the little mother to child talk and say everymorning b4 school no biting but that doesn't work.i'm on the verge of taking her out of school but she really loves school, don't know wat to do now.Hi Candy,Have you considered passing this article onto her school. It does not help if you are the only person working at the problem. The caregivers at school need to be working with you on this problem.Sandy
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